Elderly Man Found on Tarmac at Miami Intl. Airport

An elderly gentleman was found wandering aimlessly on the tarmac at Miami Intl. Airport on Monday.

Lakeland, FL resident Frank Grumblatz was seen going from plane to plane and seemed to be searching for something.  When questioned, Grumblatz said he didn’t know how he ended up there.  He claims he was on his way to purchase a Thanksgiving turkey, and his wife must have taken a wrong turn on the highway.

“I thought we were at Publix.  I noticed all the cars in the parking lot, so my wife dropped me off and I looked for a back door while she parked the car.  Some really nice guy gave me a ride on a cart with all kinds of luggage on it.  Figured they must have been getting ready for the Black Friday sales.”

Grumblatz continued, “I saw these big white crates sitting there and thought that’s where the turkeys were, so I walked over to pick one out.  Those turkeys must be wild turkeys because they had the strangest coloring I’ve ever seen and they didn’t have feathers!  And I swear one of them growled at me.  I didn’t know turkeys could growl.”

Emergency crews were called since Grumblatz seemed to be disoriented and had lost his glasses.  Meanwhile, Frank’s wife Edna was detained by airport personnel for assault and battery of security personnel on the tarmac.  Three security guards were injured when she began hitting them with her walker; two more were injured when she pushed them over a refueling hose.  Charges are expected to be filed later.

The couple was taken back to (say it with me here) the Hokey Pokey Clinic, where they reside.